Cherry - part 23

Cathy

Ruins

Cathy had never had a boyfriend, which to her was very obvious why. No one wanted to date a whore. And with all the rumors flying around, she could understand why she repelled boys. She wanted to yell 'I'm sorry I had to make a living!' They wouldn't think the same if it was someone who had worked at a fast food stand for many years. That's a crappy job as well, right? She thinks about how lonely she feels sometimes, and now, when she can see Cherry and her strong feelings for Percival, she feels like she can never have those feelings for anyone, ever. She have been ruined, she feels like her body was a workstation, an unfamiliar place with no relations to the private life, a dead thing like a building. Standing in a shop you put on a smiley face and fake your happiness through an entire day, and that's the same she had done for years. She has no life in her body, she literally bring home her work every place she goes. She had never been in love, or has she? How does love even feel? When was the last time she cried? And she doesn't remember. When was the last time she had strong feelings towards anything, really? When was the last time she took off her mask? And she doesn't remember that, either. She's so unhappy, but something in her says that she shouldn't be. It's going to turn around, that's what they all used to say. Everything's going to be okay. Your luck should turn as well. It's just a matter of time. Those phrases had been repeated for her many times. When was it going to be true? When was luck going to turn for her? She figures it already has. She met Cherry and she offered her help. She would help Cathy, so she could help herself. She didn't realize it before. Maybe Cherry was her guardian angel. She looks at her body. No one can erase the past. No one can undo what has been done, and no one can make it better. I live in a ruin, with scars and wounds which will never mend. She can cover it with new skin and she can cover her body with clothes, but no matter how much clothes she puts on, her body will be there underneath, and no one can make the pain from walking in the ruins go away.

Just move on, she think, because that would be what most people would say right about now. But who can truly move on if you have to carry the tombstone of your old self with you all the time? Who can really find bricks to build a new future, if the past took all the crafting resources?

How can you stop the rain from falling down? It falls and falls and overflows the ruins, but the rain never finds the strength or mercy to take the ruins away and into the great, big ocean of the past.